When in Doubt, Talk It Out

When to get help

Play to Interland and learn the digital rules

One piece of advice that appears consistently throughout these thematics is: If children come across something that makes them feel uncomfortable or worse, encourage them to report it – be brave and talk to someone they trust who can help, including you, the principal, or a parent. Children should pick this up from any one of the thematics, but just to be sure, here’s a family discussion focused specifically on the “when in doubt, talk it out” principle. Below, you’ll find a list of situations in which talking it out can really help.

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Goals

Recognize that seeking help for oneself or others is a sign of strength.

Think out loud together about situations where talking it out can really help.

Let's talk

Here’s a whole list of situations you might run into online. We may not get through them all because I hope you’ll raise your hands when something on the list reminds you of a situation you’ve been in and what you did about it, so we can talk those situations out together.

Important notes

Children have been taught or conditioned not to “tattle” for so many generations that it has become a social norm, and bullying prevention experts have been working hard to help children understand the difference between “telling” and getting help. Help your children see that seeking support when hurtful things happen online is not “tattling”; it’s about getting help for themselves or peers when people are getting hurt.
Fostering open communication and reminding children you’re always there for backup support and appropriate reporting.
In the discussion below, any time children share about times they sought adult help, be sure the tone of the conversation is one that makes them feel proud and brave to have taken action, especially since they’re speaking up in front of peers.

Activity

Ask your children to silently read the list. While they do, ask them to think all about whether any of these situations happened to them, whether they wanted to ask for help in any of them and if they did or not.

You had this feeling that your account may have been compromised. (Discussion opportunity: What can you do to make your account security even stronger?)
You needed help remembering a password.
You were unsure whether something was a scam or thought you might have fallen for one. (Discussion opportunity: What are the warning signs?)
Someone tried to discuss something online with you that made you uncomfortable.
You received a creepy message or comment from a stranger. (Discussion opportunity: What makes something creepy?)
You wanted to discuss something someone said online that was really nice OR really mean.
You were concerned you may have shared something online you shouldn’t have. Only tell us what it was if you feel comfortable sharing that, but even if you don’t, tell us what you did about it.
You saw a peer being hurtful to another student online.
You saw someone threatening to start a fight or harm someone.
Someone posted a fake profile about another student.
You were concerned about another student because of something they posted or texted. (Discussion opportunity: Sometimes it’s difficult to risk upsetting your friend, but isn’t their safety and well-being more important?)

Ask your children to tell what they did (or didn’t do) and why.

Let’s discuss those situations.

Takeaway

It may not always seem like it, but being able to ask for help when you’re not sure what to do is a brave thing to do. If it’s to help you or someone heal something hurtful or stop harm from happening, it’s both smart and courageous.

Vocabulary

Courageous

Brave; not necessarily fearless, though, because people are especially brave when they’re scared or nervous but take positive action anyway.

Compromised account

An online account that has been taken over by someone else so that you no longer have complete control of it.

Student agency

A step beyond a student using their voice to speak up, student agency is the capacity to act or make change; including protecting or standing up for oneself and others; often seen as a necessary part of citizenship.

Trust

Strong belief that something or someone is reliable, truthful, or able.

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Kidsafety

Think twice before sharing photographs of your children

“Sharenting” (a contraction of “sharing” and “parenting”) is gaining popularity. It is quite common for parents to take pictures of their children and to post them on social media. Don't do this lightly though. What might be a fun or funny photograph or video of your child in an every day situation, may haunt your child in later life. The internet remembers everything and these photographs can give your child an online identity even before it has had the chance to decide whether it even wants an identity and what identity that might be.

1. Keep private moments private. Social media are not the place to create your family album.

2. The following applies for every photograph or video you make: don't post it online if you think you'd have been ashamed as a child or teenager that your photograph or video was seen by your peers.

3. To post a photograph of your children, check the privacy settings of your post and restrict the number of people who can see your post as much as possible.

4. Don't post photographs of other children without their parents' consent.

5. Always involve your children and ask them whether they like the photograph or video and if it's okay to share it.

Kidsafety

Set up parental controls

1. Android tablets: You can create different users on your tablet and assign different apps and settings to each one:

a. Select Users in the settings menu
b. Click Add user or profile
c. Select Restricted profile and disable the apps you don’t want your children to access.
d. Go to the settings menu and disable access to the device location services.

You also lock your device to one app, this works on Android phones as well:

a. Go to Settings > Security > Advanced
b.Enable Screen pinning
c. Go to the recent apps menu and tap the pushpin on the bottom of the app you want to pin to your screen
d. A pop-up appears, telling you how to unlock the screen again on your device. You can also have your device ask for a password before unlocking the screen.

2. iOS devices (iPhone / iPad): Using restrictions, you can block or limit certain apps and features on the device to make it more secure. To enable parental controls, you simply need to follow these steps:

a. Tap Settings > General
b. Tap Restrictions
c. Tap Enable restrictions and create a code.
Don’t forget that code: you will need it to be able to change or disable the restrictions.

3. Mac computer:

a. Click the Apple icon and select System Preferences. Then click Parental control
b. Create a user account for your children if they don’t already have one. Select Managed with Parental Controls, fill in the fields and click Create User
c. Click the padlock on the bottom left of the window to unlock the parental control settings
d. There you can set all kinds of restrictions for e.g. the use of apps, making online purchases and sending e-mails. You can also set a screen time for your child so he or she can’t use the computer outside the hours you allow or for longer than permitted

4. Windows 10 computers:

a. Go to Settings > Accounts > Family & other people
b. Add your children as a family member
c. Click Manage family settings online
d. A webpage will launch, where you can monitor your children’s activity, set restrictions for purchasing, the use of apps and media, web browsing, and set a screen time for your child so he or she can’t use the computer outside the hours you allow or for longer than permitted.

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